Why I wouldn’t trade my best girlfriend for Michael Fassbender on Valentine’s Day

February 15, 2012 § 8 Comments


 #1 While we try to dress up and look pretty for each other, it’s fine for us to mess up our makeup, or see each other in our home attire as well, even before we’ve washed our faces and/or brushed our teeth.

#2 We can talk about everything and nothing at the same time. We can talk for hours and hours on end, yet, we can also shut up and sit quietly watching people passing by. We can gossip and be generally catty girls, yet we’re also able to talk about the bigger things in life, like what do we do with our lives, where do we go from here, or what to get for dessert! I can discuss with her the plot of Jane Eyre or my favourite telenovela (hey, no judgment. I’m learning spanish!) without shame, and maybe even get her hooked on one or the other.

#3 We roll our eyes together or let out a not-so-silent ‘Ugh!’ at the sight of couples kissing on escalators or holding hands like there’s no tomorrow, and it’s perfectly acceptable.

#4 She knows me through and through. She’s been there for me since early high school, supported me, goaded me to get things done and achieve! I wouldn’t have enjoyed high school as much as I did if she hadn’t forced me off my lazy ass by telling me plainly and firmly, “You will regret this if you don’t do this.”

#5 We can share an apple crumble a la mode and not hate ourselves after said sharing because, as she says, “It’s a special occasion!”

#6 I could burst into song at any given moment and she would not judge me for it. In fact, she would probably sing with me, with hand gestures and a not-so-little amount of wiggling. Think Zooey Deschanel in New Girl with a scarcity of hot guys to share bathrooms with.

#7 There is no abundance of awkward pauses on a date with a girlfriend like there would be on a date with Fassy: “So…um….I saw your full frontal in Shame. Um…it was nice.”(???)

#8 There is no shame in thinking twice (okay, five times) about buying a pair of semi-expensive shoes. Nor is there any need to be cool and pretending not to be blissful about free stuff. FREE STUFF, woohoo!!!

#9 It’s not at all embarrassing or creepy to be wailing about fears of being forever alone, growing old alone, dying alone, and a variety of other scenarios that involve being alone. It’s not gonna send anyone running for the hills, really it’s not.

#10 I don’t have to be afraid that there are other hot young things who are taller, slimmer, cuter, with longer legs and lower IQs who are after my date. I know she will love me and I will love her, in spite of all the stupid shit we’ve done or we will do in future. Albeit not romantic, in a love like this, there is no breaking up or giving up, and that’s more than romantic love can say. Ask the poets, anyone who has had their heart broken, and/or the emo kids sitting glumly on the street corner.


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